“So I went down to the potter’s house, and there he was working at his wheel. And the vessel he was making of clay was spoiled in the potter’s hand, and he reworked it into another vessel, as it seemed good to the potter to do.”
The first step to creating a heart was forming the shape of a ball. For the most part that was pretty simple. I was able to take the play-doh of the container and roll it around using the palms, but it took a few times. As I held the play-doh in my hands I had a hard time not squishing the play-doh and just giving it a light touch. I started forming the ball and then my friend Jessica helped me smooth out the edges and form the shape even more until it was perfect. One of the challenges with my cerebral palsy because of the spasticity in my body (that’s a fancy word for muscle tightness) is to get the part of my body I want to use (in this case my hands) to relax and touch things lightly so they can do the right motion. My friend Jessica and I had set aside a whole day to work on all the steps that go into making a heart and give the pieces time to harden up before we started the series. We didn’t start the series when we thought we were going to because Jessica had gotten sick. By that time, I had forgotten that a few weeks ago my mom had moved the pieces to another spot. I remembered when I saw some pieces Some papers had to be moved off of a chair looking for something and the ball rolled off the placemat and onto the ground and broke into pieces. I was not happy! It’s just a little thing, and fortunately of all the steps the ball is the easiest if I had to redo something, but with cerebral palsy simple movements and forming simple shapes take time. I was upset with myself for forgetting to remind my mom to move the steps to a safer spot. Since I can’t physically move things myself asking someone, “Could you put this here or there?” is my way of stay organized and this time it was really important! Ugh! Here’s the broken ball.
So recently I redid the ball. It was very hard to keep pieces together. The play-doh kept falling apart. My mom finally took the container of play-doh and put some water in it to make it moister so the pieces would stick together, and it worked. While I did most of the ball myself, forming the shape, etc. My mom did help me smooth it out. Here’s the finished ball.
It reminded me of how we often come to God even if we’ve known His son Jesus as our Savior for quite a while. Just like the verse says we’re like spoiled pieces of clay that need to be reworked. How many times have you found yourself thinking, “I can do this.” As you struggle and struggle until you’re so frustrated you want to throw your hands up and scream, “I can’t take it anymore!” When we cry out to God and say, “Lord I need you!” I believe that’s when God says, the master heart surgeon” I’ve been waiting to hear you say that.” He picks up and begins to form that ball our hearts into a vessel that can be used by Him. You know your heart is being transformed when through that hardship, you say, “Lord what are you trying to teach me? What shape do you think is best for me to be used by You?”
I admit I can’t live my life without you. I’m a mess. The weight off this world is too much responsibility alone. I need you to come into my life and be my master heart surgeon. Rework my heart and my life into the shape that seems best to You. I can’t wait to see what shape that is.